Synopsis
about the “Change You Brain Everyday” Blog
Brutal honesty and yelling are not helpful ways to open up strong lines of communication. If you use these communication tactics you’re likely to run into a brick wall. Try a gentler approach to open up the lines of communication.
Exercise: When do you tend to be brutally Honest? What may be a more effective way to communiicate your thoughts?
The only time that I am brutally honest is when I open my mouth to speak. I have a friend the calls me “The East Coast Guy from Cali” because apparently I speak very directly. Rarely I am speaking with the intention to hurt someone’s feelings, but I do sometimes have trouble sugar coating what I’m trying to say. I think the best example I can give is if someone invites me to go somewhere and I don’t ant to go I’ll say no. I don’t beat around the bush and say It sounds nice, let me check my schedule and never get back to you, I just say what’s on my mind.
For me the most effective way I have found to communicate my thoughts is with tone. I often time have people give me smokescreen excuses when they are unsure about something. The most common thing I hear is “Let me check with my spouse.” I’ve heard this 1000 times and know that it is a smokescreen. If I say “I know you don’t need to talk to your spouse,” sternly than they are going to go on the defensive and say “I really do. I need to double check with my wife if they are out of our brand of toilet paper.” On the other had if I say with a smile “Come on now Ted, you don’t really need to check with your wife do you? What’s on your mind?” more often than not we’ll discuss the actual hold up.
So my answer saying things with a smile. When I leave out the smile I come off as very serious even when unintentional an the other person may close off. On the other had I can say the exact words with a smile and an upbeat tone and the lines of communication open right up.
Author – Coach Brian